Its 7:06 a.m. and I have been awake for three hours, sitting in the dark pondering life and trying (Futilely) to will my brain into quiet submission. But you can now tell how well that worked out for me. I decided to attack the issue that has been waking me up daily at exactly 4:44, in the hopes that maybe, after I find happiness, I can also find sleep once more....So, here goes.
I used to know EXACTLY who I was. Self-confident, self assured almost to a fault. I was the one who had a rock-solid plan, I had my (somewhat crooked ) head on as straight as it could possible go. Now, I sit here, with the ambient glow of the computer screen as my only source of lighting, staring at an empty email in-box, a blank facebook page and I wonder to myself, when exactly did I lose my so called "life". When did I seem to morph into this empty shadow of a thing that bends every which way the wind blows?
I can't seem to pin-point an exact moment, time or location of my tragic loss.. Nor can I find a person or thing to lay blame on. I think I just because so complacent that I completely lost sight of every long term goal that I personally had, Instead focusing solely on the "here and now" of it all.
But I realize, the one thing I know with utter certainty, is, in order for one to progress, one must first dream. And in order to dream, you must show a small flicker of desire. Now, the only problem with THAT right now seems to be, that I am so lost I cant even remember what I like/dislike/love or hate. I have to re-discover the very notions that make up, well... ME.
So, that is what I will be aiming for in this blog. My best discoveries have come from reading or writing all the crazy things that go on in my mind. Now, I have decided to share them with whoever has enough curiosity to read this ( and enough of a boring life to stick with me lol ). You guys will hold me accountable. My journey is far from lost, It just took a slight detour. Now, whose down for a road-trip... :)